May 14, 2010

Our Own Drum Beat

I've figured a couple of things out since our move.....we march to the beat of our own drum.

Before I get too deep into this thought....let me just say....I'm writing this for myself. I want to get these thoughts out and be able to come back to them when I need a little reminder.

Let me step back.....

A couple of weeks ago, we met another family who had just moved to NJ. We have several things in the same ages, adoption, moved from house to apartment, homeschoolers, several other things. We have been thrilled to hang out with them and to find new friends. Ross and Sam have been having a blast with them. They had been missing home and making new friends was a great distraction.

We started fast and furious....we would get an early morning call and we would start the day at the playground with them....which would turn into going back to one of our apartments....which would end up being an all day playdate. Everyone was happy....including the moms. After a week, I started realizing that we were hanging out almost every day....all day. My house was starting to suffer.....dinners were energy level was suffering. Our new friends are very nice....very fun....and very active. What I finally realized is that we like fun , but we have to keep it in balance. We love getting out...playing....going to the playground...but we also need to re-charge by chilling at home. Plus...and this is a giant plus....even though we are relaxed in our home school routine...we still have a routine. I still have subjects and text that I want to work through. Our schooling was definitely taking a back seat to playdates.  I also started noticing that in the past week the boys have been bickering more often....they are clearly worn out.

So, my big epiphany is that we cannot do too much in one day. Meeting at the park for 1-2 hours is great, but marathon playdates are not. A couple of days a week is nice, every day is a bit too much. Maybe the beat of our drum is at a slower pace.....other people's drums may beat a bit faster. There is nothing wrong with either beat....they are just different. My second big epiphany is that I need to stop conforming to other people's drums....I need to do what works best for us. Often times, the fact that we do less means we will spend many days hanging out as a trio...or foursome if G is home. That is my third time is precious!! I moved here with the thought that we would do a few things being that we would spend more time as a family. That was happening at first, but things were slowly changing.

 This little post is about me getting a grip on our routine and realizing what is best for us....and getting our beat back to our rhythm. I feel like people are doing so many activities these days, people are on the go just plain tuckers me out. My favorite days are days where there is nothing on the and free.

Today, there is something on the calendar.....Ross has an appointment with a NJ endocrinologist.


Pilar said...

Just wanted to let you know that I stopped by to see how things are going with your family :)
Hope you have a great wonderful blessed day! :)

Darcie said...

I think the beat of my drum is very similar to yours. I am not one of those people(moms) that always has to be going and doing. I LOVE chill time! It's great to have friends and play dates, but like you said Mimi...balanced.

Thinking of you and Ross today!

Carla said...

We all need to take a break every now and then. Like you say, playing is fine but too much is not good. Kids (especially young ones) need to rest and when they don't they can be very ugly. I don't like ugly and I know you don't either. I pray that Ross's appt. goes well.

Tara said...

Glad I'm not the only one...we rarely ever go out and do stuff unless Dwight is home other than running an errand here and there or our twice monthly playdates. It is something I beat myself up over because I always hear of these mothers having their kids doing something all the time.

Anyway....good luck with the endocrinologist. Keep us posted!

Val said...

Isn't it great to have your own beat to follow? We too march to a much slower drum beat than some of our good homeschooling friends.
YMMV, your mileage may vary, is one of my favorite acronyms. I hope you get to relax after the dr.'s appt. and wind down from all the fun but overwhelming play dates.

Life with Kaishon said...

Very smart! Everyone has a different drum style and you never have to conform. Be yourself because that is the best there is : )

bunny, The Paris House said...

You are so busy, I don't know how you home school and do it all!! but it inspires me. I agree with just going to your own beat! I hope the Dr's appt went well. I also want to tell you that when Oliver opened the presents it was so crazy that I don't know who gave him what. So I would love for him to get a thank you out to you and the boys?? Anyway, he loves everything he got that day, I just felt so rude not thanking people!
Hope all is well.

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