Thoughts-More, or Less

As I learned from my personality profile {LOL} I'm a born analyzer. Actually, I didn't need to read that in my profile, I've always realized this about myself. I'm a thinker....ponder-er....discuss-er.

Greg is very aware of this. Last night, I was sharing something with him and he leans over to me, puts his hand on my face, and said...."you poor INFJ".  We both laughed,but honestly....before he may have said "you are thinking too much about x, y, z." Now, he accepts my quirky thoughts a bit more. Anyway, that's not what this post is about....

Through the years, I've been very careful not to overload our calendar with activities. It was a bit easier when we lived out in the country on our property. We had a gym in the basement, a waterpark in the backyard{or grandma's}, and lots of exploring in the woods{didn't do enough of that}. Now we live in a sort of fast paced area, we don't have a yard, or a basement, and grandma's pool is 300 miles away. We do have a great play ground in our complex, and many possibilities for outings. I've had to make more of an effort to get the boys some "gym time" and various other things. Our fall calendar was filled a bit too much for my taste, this semester is better as I've eliminated things. On days where we have nothing planned for the day we.....

*feel less stress
*get more schoolin' accomplished, in an un-rushed and enjoyable way
*the laundry gets done, house stays tidy, a full dinner gets made
*we seriously smile more

 

I could probably add to that list, but you get the idea. We love our free and unfilled days. When I was a little girl, we spent our days just playing {days when we didn't have school}. We didn't have after school activities....maybe the occasional intramural soccer {for my brother}. I was asking Greg about what it was like when he was young. He said that he never took sport lessons as a child {or any outside lessons}, he never had enrichment classes. He just played. What I find so interesting about this is that even though he didn't start sport lessons at 4, or various other classes....he went on to accomplish a lot.

*with no prior sport lessons....he played high school football and wrestled. He also played rugby in college, and coached a bit afterward.

*with no prior acting class....during high school he won the lead role in a production of MASH. Do you know who he was up against?

                                                      Philip Seymour Hoffman!
                                                   {he went to Greg's high school}

Greg won the role of Hawkey, and Philip played Radar. They were both asked to go to acting camp in NYC, but Greg declined. He wasn't really interested in acting, just spontaneously tried out for the play to get closer to a girl he was crushing.

I have more stories like that, but I like that one the best. I will often go to Greg and ask "is it ok that the boys are not doing x, y, z?" and he will always say "yes! don't worry". It's hard not to compare when you see your neighbor's child signed up for something different each day. The worries come in, but I'm learning to quickly shove them aside and remember Greg's encouragement. I look at his childhood, and his young adult life  and then see his adulthood. That alone is an encouraging reminder that it's ok to take it slow. Our boys love to play sports, but they don't always want to play competitive sports. Mostly, they just want to play {it could be basketball, baseball, or tag, anything}.

I'm just pondering some things. I'm not saying that extra lessons are wrong....I'm just trying to figure out how I want them to figure into our lives. I want to focus on what's important {to us} and what can wait until the boys are older. I feel like we have been conditioned to think that more of anything is better, but really.....I'm realizing that most of the time, simple is better.

Less IS more.

Just some things I'm pondering.

Miss Understood

So, yes....I deleted my last post. It wasn't a scandalous post by any means, but it was a post that could be misunderstood, or easily judged. Can I tell you one of my fears?
                                           
                                                    Being misunderstood

This isn't a profound or surprising fear...I'm fairly certain that nobody likes to be misunderstood. When we chat on the phone, or even through email there is more control. We can catch most misunderstandings and reverse them. Hopefully. Blogging....that's a whole 'nother thing. When we share our thoughts, happenings, and hopes we leave ourselves vulnerable for judgement or misunderstandings. That's just the way it is, and that's why you will sometimes see me delete a post. Read quickly, friends....you just never know when it will disappear. Ha! Not really. I promise not to be that bad.

So, recently my girlfriend sent me this free Jung/Meyers-Briggs personality test. I found out that I'm an INFJ. Seems I am a protector. Greg took it and found out that he's an ENTJ.... an Executive. We read our profiles to each other and could not believe how accurate they seemed. It actually helped us to understand each other more.....to cut each other a bit more slack because....hey, it's just part of our quirky personality.

Y'know what is interesting? If you read the profile of an INFJ it's pretty clear that I'm just the type who would delete a post for fear of being misunderstood.
 Even my desire to constantly organize yet never feeling organized is characteristic of an INFJ.

Take the test! It was interesting. Let me know what your personality type is. When you find your letters, then go to the personality type page to read your portrait.

Lessons from a Big Change

Here we go again. Our lease renewal arrived, I took a couple trips out with a realtor and  logged many hours on to realtor.com. For the past 2 years, January has been the month of big decisions. Do we stay, do we buy a home, do we make another big change? Through all this contemplating, I've realized a few things.

What frustrates me most about our move is paying more money for much less space. It drives me wild. I can deal with moving to a small space. In fact, I've realized that our house was a bit too large for my taste. If we were paying less than we paid for our home than I'd be excited, but we are too close to NYC for that. It is what it is.  I was raised in a town with big yards and a variety of houses with logical prices. Additionally, I learned from Suze Orman that it's a good time to rent and to go slow when making the next house purchase.

I prefer smaller homes
After living in various style homes and now living in a 2{4}story townhouse apartment I've learned that we don't need a big house. If we had about another 400 sq ft I'd be super happy. I think layout makes all the difference as well.....and closet space. The closets in this apartment are not bad, it's just that we brought too much stuff with us.

It feels good to simplify
I cannot believe all the stuff we brought with us. This was after we purged, sold, and gave away much of our furniture and stuff back home. We also have a storage unit back home filled with some antiques, outside furniture, and things we were not ready to part with. Here, we have a garage semi-filled with things. We've been slowly purging and it feels wonderful. We have plans to simplify some more.


This change has stretched us
I realized this after our first move many years ago.....when in our hometown I felt a bit frozen. Whether we realize it or not, we acquire labels as we grow. Family & friends know certain things about us.  Mostly because they've been along on your life journey. My sister and mother have told me that they didn't realize I was as strong as I was. You see, back home I am the youngest of 5 children. My mother had me when she was 32. I'm the baby, and I'm pretty much treated like the baby whether I like it or not.  When I'm in a new town there are certain things I am forced to do....certain ways I am stretched beyond my comfort zone. I remember while living in Ohio, I started an infertility support group. This shy and sometimes insecure gal from upstate NY reached out to people and organized meetings. I also volunteered with the Red Cross. Much to my mother's surprise, I spent many nights alone in Ohio while Greg was traveling. I'm the girl who crawled in bed with her parents until I was in my teens. I'm the girl afraid of the dark. You do what you have to do, right?!  It may be my childhood friends who remember me being shy or my mom remembering that I don't like to sleep alone, but when you are in a new town with new people and a new way of doing things you often stretch yourself because you have to. And it's a very cool thing. You learn things about yourself {and your children} that you never knew before.

This current living situation is temporary.....there is hope in the future
When we first moved to this new city, and this new way of living I would laugh to myself and repeat "what are we doing? This is so strange." It took a long time to process the big changes. Life is very different here. It even took a while to realize that we could go into NYC or drive to the beach when the desire struck. I still have not figured out how to use the train {and there is a station in just about every town}. I started realizing that we should take all the opportunities and adventures we could fit in because we may move again. And that brings me to hope in the future. Sam reminded me the other day "we won't live here forever, we are just temporary". Oh yeah! This is a temporary living situation...... going into it's 3rd year.......but still it's temporary. That gets me super excited and hopeful.

Who do I think I am?
Ok, that is a thought that's been running through my mind a lot....and probably not in the way you may think. When I start thinking about what type of home I would like,  complaining about this or that, I think to myself.....who the heck do I think I am? There are so many people in need, so many homeless or hungry, so many lonely. I don't want to focus on wanting that crown molding or wood floor.....I want to keep my focus on realizing how thankful I am to have a nice place to live, thankful for the great job Greg has, thankful for the beautiful twins the Lord gave us, that I'm able to stay home with our boys, that I can go to the grocery store and buy the food of my desire, that I can drink clean water! I don't take these things for granted. I want to be content in the here and now.

Take it slow
When we first moved to NJ I had this idea in my head of how things would be {or should be}. Shy me became this dorky outgoing girl who would go up to people introduce myself and shake their hand. I soon became discouraged when I realized that people were not as friendly as I had hoped. I soon realized that we weren't in Kansas upstate NY anymore. People are a bit more guarded here, a bit less approacheable. I've made a few mistakes along the way....because I was anxious to recreate what I had back in NY.....I allowed some wrong folks into my life. My gut heart told me to run, but I ignored that gut heart feeling . Let me tell you....if the Lord is speaking to your heart....listen! It will save you a ton of heartache and trouble in the end. Also, when a friendship is the real deal {and a gift from the Lord} you just know it. You can just be yourself and they "get you". I've learned to trust the Lord to put the right people in my life, along my path. I've learned to take it slow and listen. Well, I do often babble, but I'm trying not to be the gal who fills up the silence in the room. Why do I think that's my job?? I've been burned a few times and had a couple of really odd situations happen here in NJ, but y'know what.....even those things were probably necessary to get me to this knowledge and this better {emotional}place. I'm SO thankful for the real, dear friends in my life......near & far. You are like gold to me, my dears {and you know who you are}.

It's ok to be homesick
There is no place like home. I'm not sure when/if we will live in our hometown again. I love that I can close my eyes and picture it all......the houses, the parks, the stores, the people. It's ours wherever we go....wherever we live. We will wrap up those special friends & family and take them with us wherever we go. I've found that I've sort of been living in two places.....back home & here. I've not fully given myself to this new state. In some ways, I've remained temporary. Maybe it's because we will move again, or maybe it's just part of the process. It's all about going forward, learning from the past, and embracing the now.

And yeah, I'm still learning from this big change. I'll keep you posted ;)

Keeping Calm

We've been listening to Jack Johnson each morning as the boys eat breakfast and I drink my tea {chai latte, please}. We all sort of sway to the music as we go about our business. Sort of a calm intro to the day. Keeping calm. Sometimes I find it so easy to stay calm & carry on. Other times, I do the exact opposite.

{Deep breathing & letting go....good stuff}

                    {Sometimes this would be the best thing to do. When I'm    frustrated, I tend to speak and then think . I need to reverse the order}

{this is good}

{It often helps to do this, too}

{I know, right}

{I just had to add this one}

Forgiven

This song came on the radio while I was driving in my car....alone. I just love songs that make you realize
that you are not alone.....that what you struggle with....or think about....is not unique.

 As I've gotten older I've realized something to be very true......we all struggle with our past in some way or another. It may be as we wrestle with the past in the middle of the night...as I do. Or, it may be in a million other ways. I could relate to each and every word in this song.....

Between the Lines

I should be taking a shower and getting ready for the day. We are heading to the beach. Yep, it's freezing and we are going to the beach....hoping to see some seals. At least find a fun restaurant along the way.

I'm writing this for no particular reason at all.....well yes, there is....I'm writing this for me.  I may write about the little things going on....grocery shopping trips, our day, basic stuff. Through it all....there is so much more going on. I often think...after writing.....but, that wasn't the full picture. There is always so many more details...I'm sure this is true for all of us.

This week.......

There have been emotional lessons learned.

There has been worry over heart issues...of the physical kind. With every breath.

There has been encouragement from long distance friends....and encouragement given back.

There have been birthdays gone bad.....words that can't be taken back.....but apologies accepted.

There have been attitudes needing adjustment.......feelings hurt......forgiveness.

There have been smiles masking pain......and then replacing pain. Smiles.

There has been real, deep, growing, and feeling life.

And right now as I write this......I swear it's a message from the good Lord.....my neighbor has his music playing so loud......and I'm dancing in my chair. I'm going to miss that loud and restless guy. The song he's playing? The Doobie Brothers....Listen to the Music....{I kid you not}

"List'nin' for the happy sounds ....And I got to let them fly....woah oh oh listen to the music"

Our Days

Friday brought an MRI. He said it was painful, but it's over. Now we wait for some answers. He's been on the couch all weekend....hurts to move. He has a mini business trip tomorrow....he has to go. Praying the pain will ease up...or the steroids will kick in. It's so strange that it was a year ago.....the month before our last move......that he had this problem. Same timing. Weird.  Hoping to get some answers.

{snap circuits with Dad....December}

Saturday brought basketball for the boys. It's a non-competitive fun basketball thing. The boys requested non competitive. They didn't like the more competitive soccer program over the summer. Soccer practices were great, the coaches were great....the teasing from the other kids...not so great. The twins would get stage fright during the games. They would almost freeze on the field.  All the yelling and activity from the side lines freaked them out a bit. Practice, good. Games, not so good. A few kids started teasing them about it. Ummm, we are talking 8 yr olds. So wrong. Ross and Sam told us that they didn't think they deserved to be on the team (because they had a hard time with the games). The coaches couldn't have been nicer.  Basketball will be for fun....and they said it was fun. They have the same coaches from soccer. Awesome.

(side note...during the week, the twins are part of a cross training homeschool gym class. The coach told me that the first day there was a boy struggling. He said Ross and Sam helped the boy. Melted my heart.)

{playground....December}

Saturday also brought a new haircut for me. It's fine. Watched The Way We Were with Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand. Great movie, tear filled couple of hours.

Sunday brought....well, technically it's still here....making homemade pasta sauce, doing errands and watching football. Not much organizing going on.

Hormonally Challenged

(Greg and boys, camped out watching Charlie Brown Christmas)

I figured out why I have felt exceptionally slumpy the past few days. Not only did I feel slumpy, but by the time Greg got home from work last night.....I was all weepy and had no clue why. Everything felt overwhelming. I was a literal pile of mush and felt like I was sinking further and further down.

It was strongly suggested that I get myself to bed......I didn't resist since I was overwhelmingly exhausted anyway. In the middle of the night I woke up in terrible pain. My right side was on fire. The pain was so bad that it incorporated itself into my dream(ever have that happen?). I woke Greg and asked where my appendix was.

A few years back....before they discovered my Endometriosis.....I had a similar pain. Different, but similar. Back then, after a series of tests.....it was determined that my appendix was inflamed. One test revealed the black mess that is my abdomen. The person who read my films said that he couldn't even see my organs....everything was black. I will never forget the call from the dr and what he thought I had(can't even write about it, it was so upsetting). After laparoscopic surgery(that did not remove my appendix) they discovered my endo(I was so relieved that it was just endo!!) and  found that(at the time) it was suffocating my appendix(and smothering other organs-lovely).

My endo has covered my organs so much that removing it is risky-too big of a chance that an organ may be cut in the process.  Since then, I randomly get terrible side pain.....I'm always worried that my appendix may rupture. So, last night......while in and out of sleep......I was trying to decide what to do....do I go to the hospital? Why is the pain so high (on my rib cage)? My house was a mess...so I was thinking.....who would take care of the boys and see my messy house? I didn't have a fever....that was a good sign.

I finally fell back to sleep......

When I woke up....bright and early.......the pain was gone. Hallelujah!! Not only was the pain gone, but my slump was lifted. Seriously. I felt like a different person....my energy was back......I felt more balanced emotionally. Coffee even tasted good again.

So, guess what I have determined? I was ovulating! Yep.....way too much information. But let me tell you......learn from me. Hormones can wreak havoc on your body and mind. For some reason.....ovulation is my worst week. It's almost as if.....as soon as it's over......the clouds part and the sun shines again.

Hormones are challenging. Hormone fluctuations are very real......especially once you hit 40. Now that I'm noticing a pattern.....I will take steps to exercise, take my B-vitamins, and basically brace myself for that one bad week. I should actually just go into seclusion during that week.....because it's bad.

But.....today is good.

High Hopes

Just what makes that little 'ol ant.....

I have so many things I need to do. I need to simplify some more. This has been a really, truly hard task. I am having a hard time deciding what should go and what should stay. Should stay meaning....what I can't let go of.  I look around our small space....by the way-Greg and I determined that our whole living space is the size of 1/2 of our old playroom.... and I feel like I'm living in a one room school house. Now, that is fine and dandy....and pretty much due to the fact that we homeschool. Creating an environment that is full of learning opportunities....or opportunities for creative play is important to me. I only have a few more years before my little men turn into teenagers. I guarantee that our living space will be very different in a few years. But, these are the days we are in.....and these days are filled with little building things, constructive things, sports things, and books galore.

Thinks he can move that rubber tree plant....

I don't mind living in a one room school house....heck, it's pretty fun. But, I would really, truly love for our one room school house to have some style. I've thought about calling in the HGTV experts to give me a hand, but that wouldn't make sense since we are renting....and moving in a less than 3 months(can you hear the Hallelujah chorus?) So, mentally I know that I need to do something....organize, simplify, get off my butt.....the only problem is that physically I am worn out. I'm once again feeling so incredibly tired that it's disrupting my day....my plans. The mind has a will, but the body says no way.

Anyone knows an ant can't move a rubber tree plant.....

But I am determined....I have high hopes for change. I will eat better, try to exercise(even if that means running around the playground), I will take baby steps, and try to live the thankfulness that I feel in my heart. Each day I am determined to do a little bit more.....and by golly, I guarantee just as we are about to move....I will have our small space filled with style. And of course, then I can start all over on our next space.

She's got high hopes, she's got high hopes. She's Got high apple pie in the sky hopes

* I want to add that I love living in a small space, if I could only get it organized. Less is more!

Fighting For Joy

"the state of my space doesn’t reflect the state of my soul."-Ann Voskamp

I can't help myself, another link......because this is too good not to share.......click here

Good Things

* A sunny day.....with beautiful, bright colored trees. Just gorgeous.

*A playground....anywhere, anytime. Having some beautiful, bright colored trees surrounding the playground is a bonus.

*A weekend without the internet.....well, maybe 5 minutes here and there, but that is all. Lots of family time, lots of coffee, lots of outside time.

*A new church....with a really neat pastor. Such a little gem of a place.

*I love that Greg truly loves working in the kids room at church. He truly loves it.....me...not so much. Thankfully, we balance each other.

*Reeses Peanut Butter cups....and an excuse to buy many bags of them(and sneak some)

*Ross singing "How Great Thou Art"......as loud as he can....at church. Priceless.

Unchanging Change

When we found out that we'd be moving from our country setting to a metro suburban area.....well, I had many plans in my head. Plans for change. I truly love looking at life as if it's a big glass full of water.....at least half full. Unfortunately, I think I've fooled myself. I thought I was looking at things in that positive way, but really....honestly......my glass always felt half empty. Before our move I had been frustrated with myself....I was stuck in some negative thought patterns and I couldn't get myself to change. Sort of the Fred Flinstone of change.....legs spinning, wheels not moving.

Negative thought patterns....that's one area. That's an area that could somewhat be hidden. Accumulating clutter was an area that could not. Actually, it could be hidden well in our last home.....there were closets and space galore. I'm starting to wonder if God purposely gave us limited options for our new home.....it's a relatively small space with nowhere to hide/store things. Our clutter is exposed......therefore, our clutter needs to be dealt with.

Are you following me here? I can no longer hide ....from myself....the need for me to change my negative thought patterns and my stuff. It's been about 6 months since our move and I'm finally realizing that I need to stop thinking about the change that needs to take place....I need to live it. Actually get off my butt and live it.....decluttering my thoughts and my closets. Out with the old, neatly storing the treasures, and making room for the fresh~positive~.....change. It's time for me to stop talking about change....and to start changing.

And that's where the battle may start........more on that....

So Much.....

....has happened in such a short time. This move has had me on an emotional roller coaster....usually in the span of a minute. Up....down....up....down. Most of the time, I am feeling joy. But then I start thinking about everything....feeling homesick.....moving from the home that we built to this rental.....and the joy starts to fade. It's as if my mind is saying....."you shouldn't be feeling joy, you left your family and close friends....you left a spacious home and property and now rent a small townhouse among rows and rows of rentals". It doesn't seem rational to feel joy. That's when I know that it MUST be God. Only the Lord can fill me with this joy.

I'm slowly re-programming my brain. Re-programming the way I think.

What I have always believed, but have never been tested on.....is that being with my family...having my husband love his job.....is far more important than having a large house...and all the fancy material things that go with it.

As Greg said....."we've done big.....I'm tired of big...I'm tired of house projects and yard work". He seems like a weight is off his shoulders. A bigger weight will be off once we sell the house. It's going on the market this weekend. Praying.

So....let me share a few stories from our move.....

*My oldest friends (Greg's friend's too!) planned a going away dinner for Sat night.....we were so chaotic...I was so emotional (weepy at everything) that we did not make it to our own going away dinner. I was a wreck on Saturday.

*I met a homeschooler in the hotel lobby....she seems really sweet and has already called, sharing info.
*Ross threw up in that same hotel.....during the buffet breakfast. (that's a full story in itself)

*Our rental was SO filthy. G and I were so sad/frustrated when we walked through. It's finally clean and many problems have been fixed...including a new washer/dryer/dishwasher. These are supposed to be "luxury rentals"...I was shocked.

*While having a crazy first day, I started chatting with a really sweet couple who were moving out of our complex. We shared frustrations about our rentals and exchanged phone numbers...after chatting and coming up with a plan for us to take their rental. Anyway....I had no idea....but the guy is a professional football player(Marqeus Douglas) who played for the NY Jets. They were on their way to NC where they own a home and he will play for the Panthers. He was so nice and came over and said "hi" to Ross and Sam. They said that there are more Jet's players in our complex (I'm keeping my eyes open-not that I'd have a clue who they were). Their training camp is down the road.

*I have lots of pics to upload (my laptop is still not working) We just got online....catching up on things. Still  unpacking....feeling completely disoriented. My life feels completely different....I barely recognize it. More soon......
Miss y'all.
Love,
Mimi

Fail Us Not-1000 Generations

There are certain songs that just give me butterflies. Yes, I just said that. Strange but true. If I'm driving in my car and one of my favorite songs come on.....I sing out loud.....very loud. This is one of those songs. I dare you to listen to it and not start singing. Ok, maybe I don't dare you.....but I encourage you to listen....it may put a pep in your step and it just might....give you some butterflies too.

I'm singing along to it right now. Don't you wish you were here to enjoy that? Ha! But along with butterflies....this song speaks to me. Loudly! It touches my heart and makes me feel less alone. Read the words that pop up as the music plays. We all have something going on, something we might be struggling with.
Enjoy.

And Because I'm feeling So Chatty.....

I realized that I've been blogging almost every day......I'm just a bit chatty. Way too many thoughts going on.....that's a good thing. It's probably because of the season.....and obviously because of the things that are ...going on. I want to be able to look back and read about what we were thinking during this time.....this time of change. I don't want to only write about it once the change has happened. What fun would that be? I want to remember the process as well.  I guess that's why I'm feeling so chatty. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the large amounts of coffee I've been inhaling.

I spoke with my mom today.....she's the mother hen. She's this way with all her children....all 5 of them. Even with my oldest sibling who is 52 year old.  My mother has a very organized way of making sure we are all okay.....checking to see what is going on with each of us. She also makes sure we are aware of each other's happenings. I have to admit.....she keeps us all connected. Anyway.....she asked me " so, is there anything I should know?"  So, of course that was my que to share what the latest with everything was. I forgot what my mom said next, but whatever it was....she made me feel.....calm.  I had some concerns....she turned those concerns to peace.

                                      (my mom is the one in the white dress..cutting the cake-I think it was her sweet 16)

And then we talked recipes.....menus...and where to find the best deals. Good stuff. She's 70+ years old.....at one time in her life, she ran her own successful business....then recreated herself at 70 and started a 2nd career. I'm very thankful for her. And I know very sure that the Lord uses people to minister to us. I'm trying to listen....and I'm trying to be still a bit more.

Sea Legs

I'm trying hard to adjust my sails.....and working on  keeping my sea legs steady.

"We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. "     2 Corinthians 4:8–9

........."We all will have shipwrecks in our lives in some way, shape, or form. The reality of life is that we are either coming out of a storm or we are going into one. That is just the way it is. There are times when we will have smooth sailing. There are times when the sky will be blue and the sun will be shining. There will be beautiful moments in our lives in between the storms. Thank God for those moments.

But the reality is that we can live a prosperous life in the will of God and still face conflict. Paul went through a shipwreck on his way to Rome, but he had a prosperous journey by the will of God because of what it ultimately accomplished. That is a different definition of prosperity than we may normally think of.


It has been said that you can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails. I cannot control the world. I would love to if I could. Nor can I control the circumstances that come my way. But I can control my reaction to them. I can redirect my sails and adapt.

We all will face storms, difficulties, and even shipwrecks. So it is time for us to develop our sea legs and not focus so much on how to avoid storms, but on how to get through them, how to survive them, and how to learn the lessons that we can only learn in such places. " - from Harvest Daily Devotion by Greg Laurie ----------

My Interview With Carla

I've been pushing and pushing encouraging my friend ...Carla....to start a blog. I've known Carla almost as long as I've known G. When we moved out of state......we talked almost every day. We've walked with each other through many trials. Back then... she was homeschooling 2 young daughters.....these days, she has a job that she loves and her daughters have grown into wonderful young women. Because she didn't want to start a blog.....and because she always leaves such interesting funny comments on my blog.....being the faithful reader that she is.....I decided to ask her a series of questions. Sort of....an interview.  She didn't want me to post a picture of her.....so I found a sweet one of her daugher....Jo....holding one of the boys.

 I found this interview thing rather fun......I just may be interviewing you soon ;)

First....how are we related? What would you call us? I'm not sure if there is a term for how we are related. Your husband's mother is the sister to my sister-in-law. Since I don't think there is a term for that relation...I just consider us sisters.


You've known G for a long time.....what is your earliest memory of him? Probably of him running around in this outfit that made him look like that Angus guy from the group AC/DC! He would wear these long shorts and a button down shirt with suspenders! I am not kidding. And I'm pretty sure his bangs were cut straight across. Now, remember, he was probably about 6 years old!

You were married before, how long have you been a single mom? I was married before? Oh yeah, I forgot. I have been a single mom for 18 years!

What is one thing you wish married moms would not say to single moms? That they "can't wait until their husband gets home so that he can take over"!

We are different in so many ways.....you are like the Ethel to my Lucy, or the Frog to my Toad, or the Sonny to my Cher.....we are super close, but butt heads to...why is that? Because we are individuals who don't feel the need to brown nose each other. We are so secure in our friendship that we don't have to check up on each other or worry about who the other is hanging around with. When you hang out with or talk about Laurie or Mindy or whomever, I don't care, it doesn't bother me, I don't get jealous...because I know that you and I don't have that same kind of relationship that you have with them. Does that make sense? Probably not, but you know what I mean. By the way, I think I'm Lucy....because I'm funnier.

You have always been my grammar police....have you always been knowledgeable about grammar? Was english your best subject? I have only become "good" at grammar since homeschooling and because grammar is about the ONLY thing I can teach, I have to make sure that everyone around me talks properly!

You have left some interesting comments on my blog.....I know it's just YOU being YOU.....do you feel that you are often misunderstood? Oh my goodness YES!!! When I leave those posts, I would never have EVER thought that someone would actually sit there and take the time to even think about them being rude or whatever. If I ever thought or wanted to say something rude to someone, I would keep it to myself because I don't feel the need to hurt people. What kind of person would I be? I just always figured that you know me, that you know I have a very dry sense of humor and those posts that I wrote were meant for you only, not for someone to think too much about....now that sounds harsh but it's not meant to be. If I am one thing, I am truthful!

What is 1 of your biggest pet peeves? Only one? Probably arrogance...or people who think they are better than me because they have more money than me, a better horse than me, a better house than me, a husband, or money....I could go on...the funniest thing about that is....there will always be people who have more money, a better house, a better husband than THEY do!!! No sense in trying to keep up with the Jonses. We all need to be content with what we have and to get on our knees every day thanking Jesus for what He has given us.

You are known for "calling the manager".......do you still do that? I have to still be like that. I definately believe in standing up for myself...in a kind and gracious way...I believe that even more because I have a daughter who has severe learning disabilities and some people have walked all over her and have treated her very poorly....I cannot allow that to happen to her and if I don't teach my girls to stand up for themselves, then who will?

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a strong, loving, kind, caring, selfless Christian mom, daughter and friend. You know what? Although I'm 48 years old and getting old, fat and gray, I still feel like a 25 year old and I still believe that I'm a pretty cool mom. Like I say to my girls...what friend of yours mom would do half the stuff I do with you guys? You know Mimi, even though I don't have a husband, or alot of money or a house with enough bedrooms so my girls can have their own rooms....I am so very thankful and grateful for everything that we do have and I wouldn't change anything.

Carla

Will I ever be able to get the visual of G as Angus out of my head??? Funny thing.....he remembers that as well.....even the exact clothes he was wearing. Too funny.

On Lettuce and Love

(picture of the boys proudly making their own salad)

I'm pretty sure that I was raised eating iceberg lettuce....that is, if I ever even ate the salad my mother prepared for me. I was the ultimate picky eater growing up....my poor mother. I learned so much from the compassion my mother gave me.

As a child, I lived on peanut butter. My mother would make meals for the family.....if I did not like what was being offered for the family meal, I was offered peanut butter or cereal. I was never forced to eat what was being served. There were reasons behind my picki-ness, reasons that as a young child I could not explain. I'm so thankful that my mom did not push me.....I grew up to become an adult who eats just about everything.....and in large quantities.

Another quirk, I had a terrible fear of the dark. For about the first 12 years of my life my parents would either sleep on my floor or let me sneak into bed with them....in the middle of the night. I was prone to sleep walking too. Again, I appreciate the love and patience that my parents gave to me. Those fears were very real to me and my parents took them very seriously......I grew up to be an adult who is able to spend the night alone.

My youngest brother and I are only 11 months apart.....as children my mother would sign us up for various classes together. My brother never had a problem...me, I was super shy girl. Usually, you would find me glued to my mother's side. She would encourage me to try, but not force me to stay. I believe this understanding and love helped me. Again.....I grew up to be more out going and able to try just about anything. Even if I feel shy, I'm able to push myself through it.

I appreciate my parent's love and understanding of me as a child.....and I believe that the way I parent has much to do with that. I've learned so much from my mother. I now have a child who has anxiety.....eating quirks, fear of the dark and other things. God gave us these children....he chose them for us. I'm trying to offer the same love and understanding to my boys that was given to me.....back to the lettuce....

When I married G....I was introduced to Romaine lettuce....and various other leafy greens. Over time, I completely forgot about iceberg lettuce....until recently. You see, my boys have never liked salad....I only offered them romaine and other dark greenleaves. Recently, our friends were over for dinner and brought salad....iceberg lettuce. My boys tasted it and loved it....salad is now a daily part of their meal....they love it. I had forgotten all about iceberg.....yes, it's easy to forget something so obvious. Please don't judge ;) I can't believe it myself.....how could I overlook sweet, refreshing iceberg? Well, I did.....and really it's easy to overlook the obvious sometimes.

Now, I wonder what other things I'm overlooking?? What's right in front of me....yet, I can't see because I'm focusing on something else? Think about it.

Random Rambunctious Ramblings

I added the rambunctious in because I was having an alliteration moment. Doesn't happen often so I thought I'd go with it(alliteration, that is).

*I've noticed that my grammar/punctuation has gotten worse since I started blogging. Actually, maybe it's always been this bad and now I just notice it.

*I'm addicted to......... Y'know that thing I do a lot........It's like a giant pause. It just flows naturally out of my head as I write. I have no control over all those little dots. Maybe I need to go to dot detox.

*How you ask a child something makes all the difference. Actually, really listening to a child makes ALL the difference. Recently,one of the boys co-op teachers was questioning if the boys could cut with scissors. She said that they told her they could not. After probing the boys with tons of questions....I found out that they did not know how to cut out the particular picture that the mom had requested. She heard "we can't cut". They were trying to say "we can't cut that particular telephone picture out". I wonder how many things get lost in translation in a child's world. I've realized that a child's simple answer can have far more depth than we realize. Sometimes it's just a simple answer and sometimes they are saying much more. (of course, I've had them do a bunch of cutting activities just to be sure they CAN cut-and they can) ;)

*I've had a massive craving for lemon iced tea. I like it sweet and lemony. I'm talking a serious drinking the whole bottle in a minute craving.

On that note.....

Dear C......

Dear C,

You have been on my mind a lot lately. You see, I've noticed that our relationship has taken a turn. From the beginning, we have always had a give and take relationship. Actually, in the beginning ....you were the one giving so much more. With your help we found the biggest joys of our lives. You were instrumental in that path...God used you in big ways.

Then there were various health situations that came up in our lives. Again, you gave and gave.....helping us find what we needed. God used you again in a mighty way. Because of that, I will never doubt what you are capable of. You've introduced me to some fabulous friends....for that I am so thankful. I'm thankful that you have helped me connect with friends and loved ones on days that I do not have time to pick up the phone. You really have kept me connected dear C.

But....and you knew there would be a but.....you have also taken from me. You are such a flirt and seem to encourage me to waste time. As I go about my day, you beckon to me....."come sit with me and play...just a little while longer". I look back at our visits and wonder.....was there something more important that I should have been doing? You have allowed me to escape a sometimes busy day.....but not always in a positive way. Some mornings, I visit with you....and realize that an hour has passed, or more. I should have been doing something else.....I could write a long list of other things that I should have been doing.

I blame myself for this, dear C. Truly.....It's not you....it's me. I've realized that maybe we should not visit in the morning.....you tend to suck my mornings away. Because of all the good our relationship brings.....I am not willing to say good bye. But, I do know that something has to change. Time is passing quickly.....my children are growing and changing.....my marriage is growing and changing..... Dear C....I see my potential, but are you hindering it or helping it? Are you a positive or a negative influence?

Well dear C......my dear Computer......it's time to make breakfast......read a book with my kids.....get dressed and start my day. I hope to see you later.....much later.

Your faithful friend,
Mimi


**While watching Brer Rabbit with the boys today Ross asked what "brer" meant. I answered that I didn't know. He responded...."ask the computer, it knows!". Mr Computer gives as much as he takes ;)