February 17, 2012

My Tiny Soap Box

Please allow me to step up on my box for just a brief moment. I don't do this often as I try not to be super vocal with my particular opinions. But, on this one thing.....I have a big opinion. This has been on my mind for a while, though I've kept quiet. After the email from the boy's birthmom......some things came to mind, and I felt it was time to get something off of my chest. I'll try to be short and sweet.

A few yrs ago I found myself in a place where I was bombarded with the message that children are a direct result of God showing favor to you.  It seems that there are some people who believe that if a woman cannot conceive a child there is something spiritually wrong with her......or she is not being blessed......or she needs to change something before she will conceive. These people also believe that the more children you give birth to, the more you are in favor with the Lord, or the more you are doing things right.

Yeah, kind of crazy, huh? 

This is what I believe.......the Lord has shown favor to me, the Lord has blessed me {doubly}. First of all, it's not because of what I've done.....it's because of who He is. He is not punishing me by my lack of ability to conceive. He has not closed my womb. On the contrary.....I honestly feel special, and chosen. He chose us to be the twin's parents. He brought us together. Because I have (and may have been born with) an issue that doesn't allow me to conceive and regardless of mistakes I've made.....He doubly blessed us with twins. He did this for me....for Greg and I. He did this for the the twins. He brought a wonderful thing out of a hard situation. I feel honored to receive this gift....to be a mom to our twins.  He worked all things together and brought the boys into our life.

The reason I'm sharing this little soap box moment is because it hurts my heart to know that there are certain people{groups} telling women that they are the cause of their infertility.....or have earned their infertility.  It's hard enough when you get little comments {and emails}from these people....when they attach the name of the Lord to this false belief it is a horrible thing.

And now off my box and back to my regular blogging.......


Casey // this modern love. said...

Thank you for posting this. I have no other words besides THANK YOU! I have heard that so much in the past two years that it was really starting to be something I believed. I now know that is not the case, but it always is good to hear it again. xoxo

really.truly said...

Casey!! Thank you for sharing this comment.....that was my worry, that other women are being told this lie. You know the truth, my friend....and you are going to be such a good mom to that little miracle of yours!

Tiffanie said...

Wow! Really? I guess I shouldn't find it hard to believe that there are pharisees amongst us like this...but really? Spouting off such vileness and ugliness!!! You hit it on the head in regards to we have favor not because of what we have, or have NOT, done, but because of who HE is. These women must think they are somethin' to be so deserving of such a quiverful, that they are holier than thou, do more, pray more, give more, DO. So deceived they are that we are not saved or blessed by mere works....we can NEVER EVER do enough to come close to the holiness of God.

And YES...your twins ARE by His holy design. Before you were even a thought in your parents mind, He knew that YOU were going to be a momma, a momma to those boys. Don't think for a minute that it was all happenstance, or accident. They were designed for you.

Wow...I guess I've now gotten on my own soapbox! LOL

Love you.

really.truly said...

Thanks for joining me on my soapbox, Tif. XO!

carole said...


StacyB said...

For reasons you and I can't understand God moves us all down different paths in our lives. Some women's lives include a plethora of children; some women's lives in inclued none. Some are moms biologically; some are moms by the miracle of adoption.
What do these "experts" say about pagans who have children? What is their answer for the Muslim, or atheist, with 9 children? They are nuts.
Quivers come in different sizes. Loving the children He sends us is our job.

really.truly said...

So true, and some good things to ponder! XOXO

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