Whole Lotta

 This is a post that may seem like a whole lotta nothing, but to me it's something.....

 What I've been thinking about lately.... Things I have a hard time putting into words. Ha. So why am I mentioning it? Because it's been all consuming these past few weeks and I feel like God has been showing me many things. {Does that sound like Christianese?} Anyway....He is pushing me through some hard stuff. I say pushing because I have to believe that He literally is pushing me and moving me forward. I've not shared what's been going on with anybody (but Greg) because it's been hard. Woah Nellie. Plus, I'm determined to not let it weigh me down or weaken me. That's when I realized that things feel different...I feel different. It's one of those deep and raw things.So I've been thinking about deep and raw things. :)

 What I have NOT been thinking about lately.......School stuff. For the first time ever-we have not done any schoolin' over the summer. We've just been reading fun books. I have no desire to organize our school stuff, and I don't want to research, purchase, or look at curriculum. I'm tired. I love having the boys home with me, I like homeschooling. I used to love it. I'm sort of blah about it at this moment. I'm sure I will get my mojo back...maybe. What I have realized more than ever is that I want homeschooling to be how we school...but not necessarily how we are defined. I feel like I've maybe kept myself in a homeschool box for awhile.

 Do we miss NJ?.......Yes. We miss so much about NJ....our friends, summer rugby, the things the boys were able to experience, living 17 miles from NYC....Every few days, the boys ask if we can go back to visit. Maybe what I'm missing is the adventure. Being in a fresh, new city with all it's new places, spaces, and faces. Don't get me wrong, I love our hometown and being near family & friends. I have a feeling if we still lived in NJ, I would be feeling homesick to move home. In fact, I know I would be homesick. It's just one of those things. 

(there was a quick and crazy wind storm last evening. See our neighbors gazebo in the background?....it was ripped to shreds in 5 minutes. I felt so bad for them)

What have I been reading?.....Hold Onto Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld. Such.a.good.book. I originally read it years ago. I picked it up the other day and opened it up to just the right paragraph. I'm now going to start over with highlighter in hand.
What have I been eating?.....ice cream-all kinds. Bowl next to me right now. Potato chips dipped in Greek yogurt. Pizza dipped in Blue Cheese and hot sauce. Those are all my go to yummies when Greg and the boys take off for some boy time.
What am I listening to right now?.....the neighbor mowing the lawn, the clink of a baseball bat.
What fun thing did I find this week?...Ulta's grey eye shadow and purple nail polish. I'm a mix of tom boy and girly girl. 
What was my scripture of the week?....psalm 94:18-19
   "When I said, “My foot is slipping", your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."