Lessons From a Cold

A little cold virus has entered our home. We've decided to skip all activities and hunker down. Shhh.... I'm secretly loving it. Because we are home, our days have been open ended with no rushing. I've had many epiphanies and moments of just pure thankful love for my boys. I've been able to listen to them with both ears {and not while multi tasking}. We've been able to read all the books we have started, had  a lot of creative play, eaten hot balanced meals, and the laundry is done.

                                      {from a day at the shore in August}

I have not caught up on replies to emails or phone calls :(

Before this week of forced hibernation I had been feeling overwhelmed and a wee bit sad. Definitely did not feel myself....at all.

The week before last, Greg took a 7 day work trip to France. I never felt fear or worry about the time he would be gone. I am so thankful for how safe I feel in our current temp. home. If we were still living out in the country I know I would have petitioned for grandma to come stay overnight. What I didn't prepare for was the lack of sleep we all experienced while he was away. Allergies and thunder storms kept us up just about every night. So, Greg returned with jet lag and an exhausted wife and kids.

 Then our week started. Our filled up, why did I sign up for so many things, not my style week began. They were all good things....all fun, or educational classes for the boys. What I am learning is that just because we can sign up for all these great classes or activities does not mean we should. No ma'am.

In fact, I've learned that saying no can be far wiser and encouraging than saying yes.

I had a few days where I felt like throwing in the homeschool towel. I thought to myself....why am I doing this? I really don't have to be doing this. All those things above....the exhaustion, the filled up week, the forgetting to listen to my heart....led to me feeling burned out and almost depressed. It stunk. {BTW-I also know that unbalanced hormones contributed to some of those negative feelings and thoughts}. I could see all those annoying things {and thoughts} piling up, but didn't know how to stop. And then this little virus hit our home....

And slowly, because we were forced to just stop...it all became clear again. Less is more. We are committed to several things, so our hectic weeks may continue for a bit, but I am going to remember these lessons I've learned before I make our next batch of choices.

These days are precious. I don't want to spend them wishing I wasn't so busy...or looking back and wishing I had just jumped off the hamster wheel earlier.

And to all of you who have been wise enough to say no and not overload your week by not joining this or that class/activity...you are not missing out. I promise you. I love a quote my friend Jana recently pinned...

                                                              
                                                

On Tape Measures & Balance

Wow, it's been a hectic week (I'll share why next week). In my exhaustion tonight, I decided to sit down and try to catch up on some internet stuff. Trouble is, I'm full of brain fog...so, I don't know why I am even attempting reply to emails, etc. Do you know...I actually just realized that the mail has not been checked since Saturday? How does that happen?

I did find a couple wonderful articles online. I'm linking them, for you, and for me. I think I might need to re-read these now and then. 

Let's all please get rid of that tape measure(great article)

This article on Balance was a good read

This article, was another good read.

That same blogger above had an awesome quote posted somewhere(forget where?)

"Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter." ~ DL. Moody

Wow. So true.

My week was not balanced, and I may have pulled out my tape measure a couple of times{which may have caused me a tiny bit of anxiety}. And I'm suddenly deeply thinking about that Moody quote, and what it means in my life right now. Good stuff to think on.

Dear Teenage Self,

Dear teenage self,

Oh, how I wish You really could be reading this letter.  I know you are hoping for an adult listening ear, guidance from someone, anyone...and boy, knowing these things will save you a lot of heartache and trouble. I realize you find your guidance from your peers, but one day you will be able to find your confidence and support from the right places/people. Being the baby of the family has it's benefits, but also gives you way more freedom than you are ready for. Dear girl, just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean it's the right thing. Skipping school, keg parties during the day, dating those football players....they are just temporary , empty fun. In fact, those boys that you have crushes on-I wish you could see ahead to your 22 yr old self when you will meet your future husband. Avoid all those just-because-I-think-I-need-a-boyfriend-boys. I promise you will eventually meet the kindest,cutest boy ever and he will ask you to marry him. Yes, he will have his own teenage baggage, but you will grow and mature together.

                                                        {So young and naive}

Oh, and I know you have never heard of him at this point, but someone else will eventually grab your heart. One day, when you are much older , 33 to be exact, you and your future husband will accept Jesus together. You will go through many years of good & bad before you see the light, but it will happen, and it will be life changing. And all this heartache you are going through, this not knowing who you are, you'll figure it out soon.

Girlfriend, ya know those girls your hanging with? The ones who aren't really very nice to you or others? Please have more respect for yourself. As soon as you graduate high school you will all go in different directions.  And your family? Spend more time with them. Bond more with them. When you are older, you will realize how much you wished you had. Your mom really does love you, though you are butting heads now. One day, she'll be a big support & friend to you. Your Dad? Spend time with him. One day soon he will not be able to think and talk like he used to. I promise, you don't "get" them now, but it will all make sense one day.

                                            {one funny Dad}

You know how everyone thinks your afraid of the dark, and probably will never leave your hometown? Well, just wait. You will eventually live in several states and cities-surprising your mother most of all. Enjoy the journey. College? You will end up not being ready, but that will work out fine. It will actually be the reason you meet that husband I was talking about. About school. Please spend less time on social stuff and more time on your studies. Because your priorities are all those parties, you will soon go from an A student to a B-. Be encouraged because one day you will relearn all those things you ignored. In fact, you will learn alongside your kids while you homeschool them. Yep, crazy as it sounds, you will be a Jesus loving, homeschooling mama of twins. Have you picked yourself off the floor? On top of that-though you think you will be fertile Mertyl one day, you won't. I know you are not thinking of babies right now (praise God), but adoption will be in your future.

                                    {an unexpected, amazing double dose of love}

I wish I could tell you everything, and guard you from all the hard days ahead. Y' know what? Those hard days, the journey through ups and downs, I am fairly sure that they led you to your husband and twin boys {and also to your savior}. God's timing in everything. Dear teenage self....you will make many mistakes, but thankfully they will be worked out for good. And you will be given grace, and new mercies each day.

Love,
Your 40 something self

PS...when you inherit that wad of cash at 18, think twice about buying that shiny white convertible. They really are not safe, and the money will come in handy later ;)

 I recently read Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman and loved it, and recommend it! She's written a new book geared toward teens called Graceful. I saw on her blog a fun idea to write a letter to your self, and decided to do it. I don't often link up to things...actually, have not written much lately anyway, but thought this would be fun.

Thanks!

I have so many blog posts floating around in my head, just no time to sit and write them.
It's been a little like that with my prayers lately. I have so many prayers, but have had the hardest time praying. I can give thanks, but when it comes to actually praying about specific things....I get flustered. I can pray for others. No problem. Specific prayers that I should be able to just list off....not so easy .

So, I've been praying "please Lord, help me to know how to pray. How to form the sentences".

That may sound odd, but God does tell us to pray all things. As I was sitting in church today, I started thinking of all the things I am thankful for, and why I am thankful for them.

I'm starting with our church.

I'm so thankful that we found our church. How in the world did we find our church? It's not in our town, it's not a big church, and there are a lot of churches in our area. I know we are supposed to be there. I actually get the warm fuzzies on Sunday mornings. I thought today~ oh, how I wish we could go everyday. Sound fanatical? It just feels safe there, and it makes me happy...though you will often see me with tears rolling down my cheeks. Especially during worship. Sometimes I want to hide from the real world and it's messy situations. Church is my temporary escape. It reminds me what's important, and where my focus should be. I really like this church, but I'm not even "plugged in"-as in participating in various ministries. Because of some past hard church experiences, I've purposely stayed back from participating. Greg, on the other hand, has gotten involved. Anyway, so thankful for the various people{all ages, all backgrounds} I've met there, the situations and stories I've heard {from others there}, and for God leading us there. It always reminds me that there are so many hurting people out there. We need to remember that. My hearts been heavy for the hurting. Ahhhh.....ok, back to the list.

I'm thankful for our apartment complex. It's technically a townhouse, but it's on top of another townhouse....so, I consider it a 2 story apartment. Yes, I miss having our own home. I miss that a lot. We will have a home again one day. Until then, I'm thankful that our current situation has caused me to not really think deeply about decorating. That used to be a mini hobby of mine. Knowing this place is temporary has caused us to take our focus off yardwork, decor {and shopping for decor!}, and other house related things. Instead, we spend so much more time together. We are able to read more, to get outside and play, and to explore our city. Also, we have some unique and wonderful neighbors.

I'm thankful for our neighbor. She plays Wii with our boys, is our resident Mrs kravitz, and kills spiders. Actually, her dad comes over and sprays the massive spiders that have suddenly overwhelmed us.

I'm thankful for my girlfriends. So very enormously thankful. I'm thankful that my true blue friends accept me just the way I am....mistakes, flaws, hormone fluctuations, whining, and all. Just wish they weren't so far away. Thankful for phone and text! Especially thankful that I'm able to talk on the phone to my dear friend who moved to India. Though, I don't understand why God would clearly bring us together as friends only to have them move to India? So many things I just don't understand. Oh right, the list....

I'm thankful for homeschooling. I never would have imagined this would be our path. 
I'm thankful for our curriculum this year....Heart of Dakota-Preparing hearts. I really wanted a curriculum that was all planned out for me this year. The boys are happy, and I'm happy. Phew.

Speaking of homeschooling. My girlfriend just published her ebook {meant to encourage homeschoolers}. It's called Called Home by Karen Debeus. She has a heart hoping to encourage other homeschoolers.

I would like to keep listing all the things I'm thankful for, but I have a pint of ice cream and some boys waiting.

To be continued......I'm feeling a bit thought filled lately. Y'know ,those heart on my sleeve moments. I will hopefully filter my thoughts, but no guarantees. :)

Oh, the things I've seen & heard

{In case you were wondering} I'm doing so much better than when I wrote that last post.
I've been observing so much around me. I've wished I had my camera with me on so many different occasions. And I wish I could explain the little conversations I've had with strangers.

*VBS at our church has been fun this week. I reluctantly went into the women's study, and I'm so glad that I did. This week has been good for my soul in so many ways.

*Loved chatting with an 85 yr old great grandma who is raising a 12 yr old boy. She also adopted twin boys 58 yrs ago. Oh, the stories she told, the hard life she's lived. And you would never know it by looking at her.

*I had 2 different quirky strangers on 2 different occasions say the nicest things to me. Just one of those experiences that surprise you and make you smile.

*We have been watching the sweetest friendship grow {at our complex playground}. It's between 2 older women....one woman is from India and always wears a beautiful Sari, the other is from China and is always smiling. Neither speak English, or each other's language. They walk and laugh together, sort of using a made up sign language. They stop and exercise, giggle...sometimes doubled over in laughter. I must try and snap a photo of them. It's priceless.

*While playing football with the boys{I'm not so good}I stopped and looked around at all the diversity around me. This home we currently have allows us some really interesting experiences. Things I can't fully put into words.

*While sitting at our kitchen table I hear a loud muffler. It's our NY Jet neighbor's girlfriend driving up in her big black escalade. She's going into the leasing office. I wonder....did he get cut from the team {it's that time of year} or are they moving?

*This week, I made some decisions that I think will ultimately give me more peace. I sort of went against the grain of what I thought I was going to do. I think it will be a good thing. Some doors quickly opened to prove that to be true. I'm learning to trust what my heart is telling me. As you know, it's usually stuck on my sleeve.

*I cried and laughed with friends who are just too darn far away. I prayed.

*I made appointments to expedite a passport. ugh. Paris will be his first trip.

*I also ate an entire Ben & Jerry's Greek frozen yogurt while writing this post. And, yes I got some yogurt on my laptop.