November 19, 2010

UC: Part 2

 When I tell you that I can remember just about every detail of that experience....believe it. I can remember it like yesterday. On the floor.....crying.....crying out to the Lord......and it felt like I was completely surrounded by warmth. I really don't want to speak in "christianese" while describing this experience, but it was just so powerful. From that moment everything attitude or view about everything changed. Because of that moment, I viewed our decision to separate differently....and I became determined to restore things., as I said....I'm not going to go into more detail about all that because it would take pages. I will write aobut it later and give it it's own post.....some pretty crazy stuff happened. Thankfully, I had a great support network via the phone.....being alone in Ohio and ...cold Minneapolis... was an interesting experience.

I'm going to skip all the in-between stuff and get back to why I was writing about this. I'm not sure if I would have asked the Lord into my heart if I had stayed in my my comfortable home, with my comfortable surroundings....not to mention my fun-party lifestyle. Why would I want to change any of that?

Why? Because I had no idea that life could be so much much different.

Ok, so that was a big thing. That move brought a big change. After a whole bunch of stuff (remember the in-between stuff I'm skipping(for now)?) Greg also re-committed his heart to the Lord.....we decided to save our marriage....we decided that were meant to be together....and that we couldn't imagine being with anyone else.  So, then another big thing happened.....we decided to stop our infertility treatments and end our journey traveling from doctor to doctor. We knew that was a road we had worn out....a road that had worn us down. After realizing .....hey, maybe we would never be parents....we amazingly found our way to our precious twins.

Again, I'm fairly certain that the circumstances that led us to our boys....would not have happened if we stayed in our hometown, in our new house, near all that was comfortable, near all whom we loved.

So, all that got me weird that once again......

We had recently moved into our new home....actually lived in it just about the same amount of time as that other house ...from over 10 years ago....and we were also still doing construction on it. We were surrounded by great friends and family....and life was good. We never....ever....ever....thought we would move again...ever.

But....once again.....we did....we have. Makes me think a little. Makes me a little nervous....a little excited. It just all seems so....ground hog day-ish. Didn't we go through that emotional, crazy, wonderful move back home? Weren't we settled? Weren't we supposed to build that house? Were we even supposed to ever move back home?
Greg made a comment once that it seems like the Lord wants us away from our hometown. Not sure why. I do notice that we seem to grow in different ways while we are out on our own "island". We miss everyone so much.....and life sure is different here. Interesting and good, but very different. Different can be good, right?


Darcie said...

I can completely relate to your experience just in different terms. I think God not only desires growth in our life...He expects it. The growing experience isn't always enjoyable, but Oh' the end result is beautiful. I feel a lot like you with our experience now. I found a quote just this week, that seems to sum up my feelings, "God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine." Glad you are seeing things so clearly Mimi!

Delane said...

My Mom has a print that talks about God weaving the tapestry that is our life. It explains that in times of trial, we can only see the underside...but his view is so much different from above.
I love the symbolism of that, knowing that our view is limited and doesn't show the complete picture. That there is beauty in what looks ugly to us, that there is a pattern to what seems like chaos.
Love you girl, hope you are all doing ok. HUGS!

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my gosh! You know what I want this to mean, right? MORE babies!
I have been totally wanting another baby lately. Like, I wake up dreaming about it. And Gary? Not so much. He is so worried about money. I tell him that we will be fine and that God will take care of us and yadda, yadda, yadda but he simply does not care. : ( It breaks my heart!

Alana said...

That is amazing! Funny how life works like that.

We are frequent movers as well...and even though I LOVE with a deep passion where we are now, and my little farm, I know that we are nomads and my husband will be promoted in the next couple years, and I have no idea where we will journey to next. It is scary, and emotional, and exciting when it happens. Our marriage went through a very rough place a few years back, and in hindsight it was a much needed place for us to be in

Alicia said...

Yes...different can be good! And remember that Gods plans are always so much better than ours! It's not until after the fact when we realize how God worked it out for His glory!

Anonymous said...

We are always where we are meant to be and there is something for us where we are.

I had to move in with my in-laws for a year and while I was 'in' it, it felt like the worst year of my life. I longed for my own space back and focused only on what was missing, instead of where I was. Now I look back and see all the wonderful things that happened that year and I realize that had I just focused on the moment and allowed myself to trust where I was, I could have enjoyed it more. But we're human. We contintually look forward to the future and backward to the past and it all seems to stem from fear - fear that the future won't be like the past, or.....that it will.

But if you choose to believe you are where you are meant to be - for however long that is - you will find the joy of the moment.
And I have to remind myself of that

Living in the moment means letting go of the past and not waiting for the future. It means living your life consciously, aware that each moment you breathe is a gift.
-- Oprah Winfrey


Sherry said...

Different can be very, very good. :)

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