Unexpected Change

I've been trying to get a bit of exercise in. I really notice that my mood is so much better after I've gotten my heart pumping. So, while the boys were playing around our complex play area....I decided to go on a brisk walk around the various courts. There are a number of complex buildings....and a ton of windows facing the play area. I often wonder who is watching and what they must be thinking as they watch me walk in circles.

I like to take that time to make phone calls, pray{talk to the Lord}, and think about things. Something hit me strong during my last walk. Something I had not connected before.

Many years ago, back in the late 90's.....I had an amazing job as a nanny. We had purchased a really neat house in the neighborhood that Greg grew up in.....we had great friends and family around us. Greg had a decent job and everything was going well. We had been totally renovating our new home over a 2 year process.....we were also desperately trying to have a baby. Things were emotional because of that.....but for the most part....things were really good.

But then......things changed. Greg was offered a job in Ohio. A really good job. He really wanted to take the job....I knew that we needed to move forward....it was a great opportunity for him and I knew that I did not want to stand in the way of his career. I didn't want to go....I didn't want to leave the family that I nannied for...we had been together for 10 years. I watched their children grow from infants to sweet young girls. But, I also knew that eventually Greg and I would have our own children and.....basically, I knew that I just needed to be ok with it....to move. But, I wasn't ok with it....that's a story for another post. I can say this....I don't believe that I've ever gotten over that move. It still makes me sad to think about what I left.

But.....big but there......some very intense things happened because of that move. Again....I'll save the details of each individual and life changing situation.....but for this post, in a nutshell.....

That move brought us to an even more emotional place in our journey to be parents....to have a baby. And folks....it just about ruined our marriage. Again, in a nutshell.....about a year after our move to Ohio...and then to Minneapolis....our boxes were packed. Packed for separate moves. Yep, we had reached our emotional end....and were ready to go in different directions. Then something I didn't expect happened....all of that brought me to an ultimate point of being broken....heart and mind. And being filled with constant tears...and being totally alone in a new state......it all brought me to a point of calling out to a God  I didn't know. It caused me to open a book I didn't understand. And it changed my life forever.  

.....to be continued.