November!

 Woah, November always seems to fly by. The days have been good. Greg has traveled a lot, but we have our rhythm and the most recent week he was away was no biggie. It helped that some girlfriends planned a mid week dinner just to get me through. It also helps that my boys are now young men. I'm enjoying this season. The other day I went to give the boys a haircut....they had to sit down because they are now inches taller than me. I'm loving having a couple "can you reach that for me?" boys in my house.

 I wish I had time to share some thoughts and "a-ha" moments from the last couple of months. I sure like my "a-ha" moments.

                                                          Instead, I will share some pictures.

                                                                                So very thankful

My Sign

I've been feeling a little weathered lately. Things are fine, but internally I have some worries that always seem to be lingering just below the surface. I'm sure most parents have some sort of worry/concern/stress that is always silently hidden below the surface. Or not? I don't know, maybe it is just me. Being an INFJ (meyers-briggs), I learned that it's perfectly normal that I wonder about things (analyze), and wear my heart on my sleeve.....but I guess the whole Meyers-Briggs thing is a whole other subject.

As I was making lunch today (and as my boys were playing basketball outside), I thought about how I wish I could wear a sign that explains certain things about my sweet boys. I could walk ahead of them and flash my mom sign (yeah, my tween boys would cringe). Part of me thinks I owe no explanations and that Greg and I know how their personalities work so who cares if others make false assumptions. Then there is another part of me that wants so much for people to see who they really are.To see the smart and funny side of them. Maybe I want to protect them from being hurt? My sign would possibly cause certain people to give them a second chance, heck, a first chance, and not just dismiss my boys because they didn't say a word.

My sign might say......
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Before you judge my boys please know.....

Yes, I know they are tall/broad/big boys.....but they are only 12 (a young 12). Please don't expect them to think/act like a 14 year old. Also, just because they are husky don't assume they are not active and that they eat junk all day. If you knew us, you would know how health conscious we are, and how active we are. Genetics can be rough, people! They are built just like their birth father (a handsome, strong man). And please ,thoughtfully, consider how awkward it may be for them to most often be bigger than their friends. I was always the shortest/smallest among my peers growing up. I know how awkward that can be. But you know what? In a few years, they will love being big, strong, broad men.

Please don't confuse their being quiet as being uninterested or rude.  Let me assure you, once they feel comfortable with you they will be chatterboxes. You should see them when they facetime with their good friend from NJ, or hang out with our old friends. They talk and laugh non-stop. They've told me that they try to find something in common when meeting new people, but sometimes that takes a while. Please don't walk away if they take a while to answer your question. They've shared with me that sometimes it takes them a little time to process their answer, and other times didn't even realize they were being spoken to (since they have gotten used to being ignored). How about crowds? That can be even harder. They often don't feel comfortable in crowds, and don't always know how to penetrate a group (umm, hello-I think many adults feel the same way).

Homeschooling did not cause their "shyness". They are who they are. I know plenty of home schoolers who are not "shy". Again, those kids are who they are. For most homeschoolers, the "S" word is not an issue...for us, maybe regular school would have helped them come out of their shell a bit. Maybe not. It is what it is.
*it's an area Greg and I think about often, and are always actively trying to expose the boys to new things and guide the boys in that area.
**shy is not an accurate label for them, but for lack of a better word.....

I hope you get to experience their funny, chatty, deep-thinking side. They love big, and care deeply. I hope you get to know that side of them. They truly are unique and awesome boys and I am honored to be their mom.
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I know that sign would be ridiculous and is a bit lengthy.  In reality, I think we all could benefit by wearing a sign.

You'd be surprised how many times a week I have to address a question related to the topics listed in my faux sign. Sometimes I will share or explain certain things....other times I sort of brush off the question. Why do people sum up others in a matter of minutes? And why is everyone supposed to blend in? Blending in is so boring.

 I am thankful for close friends who love and encourage my boys. I'm thankful for coaches and teachers who get to know them and share sweet stories about them. I'm thankful for people who have taken the time (and sometimes it takes a lot of time) to get to know them. Most of all....I am thankful that God chose Greg and me to be their parents. He entrusted them to us. How we were connected with them reminds me that they were chosen for us.

 I do find it a bit ironic that I was a super reserved child. It's amazing how we push ourselves through certain things for the love of our children. Maybe it's because I don't want them to struggle the way I often did. Who am I kidding? I am still a somewhat reserved adult. Again, it is what it is. I'm determined to view the cup half full.

While writing this I received a call from Greg's dad. He shared how the boys joked and chatted with the owner of a restaurant while out to eat with him the other day. Funny how he called just when I needed a little boost of encouragement in that area. I'm praying that the Lord keeps me focused on the positives. Hopeful....

Photo Dump

Some random photos Greg found on his camera........

( in her words)

The other day I happened upon a blog post that totally resonated with me. Perfect timing as we are about to start a new school year.

I really really like this blog post........

That's not your thing

Date Night (August)

Now that we finally have gotten into our summer groove....summer is on it's way out. I plan to hold on tightly and milk as much summer out of Sept as I can. I had an epiphany in July that has started our August off with  a big happy sigh. Feels like I've been holding that sigh in for a while.

Greg and I had an impromptu date night last weekend. It was one of those days that worked out smoothly from start to finish. And it was such a nice night. Remember that sweet big bear we ran into on the canal a few weeks ago? He's not only an author and expert on Abe Lincoln, but also a very talented musician. Fortunately for us, he happened to be playing at a spot an old friend of Greg's recently opened.

                              (I couldn't get a good photo that night, so I pulled this old one from the net)
                        When J spotted Greg he announced mid song "GD is here". Or something like that.         The expression on his face was priceless, so what he actually said was a blur. So funny. J is one
                         of the sweetest guys I've ever met.

Because many of Greg's old friends were in town for a memorial service for PSH, it turned into a mini reunion. (Did I ever share about Greg's acting debut with PSH??) The weather was perfect for outdoor                              chatting and the oldies music was so fun. It was such a good date night.

July Highlights So Far

One of the things I love about summer is closing our "school room" and having somewhat open ended days. Honestly, for about the first 2 weeks of summer I had to force myself to let go, put the books on the shelves, and chill out. The responsibility of having to coordinate my boys curriculum is in the back of my mind somewhere, but lately the thought of it only comes out when another homeschooler asks if I've figured out such and such.  My point is.....I really dig summer. And I am digging being back home this summer.

* grandma's pool....and time with G & G
* rib and blues fest
* VBS at G&P's church ( we have had hit/ miss vbs experiences, the boys week there has been a huge hit. I think it reminded them of our church in NJ)
* Decorating with Lam
* deck time...and BBQ time....and basketball, rugby
* stacks of good books.
*walks with my girls ( and an impromptu sleepover- just the girls)
*finally "getting it" (nothing material or physical) ; )

The cutest thing happened one Saturday in July as we were walking along the Erie Canal in Greg's hometown. One of the reasons we were in that particular spot was because Greg wanted to look at a house that was for sale. Before finding our current house, we were strongly considering another house...a house I still decorate in my mind all.the.time. Though, I actually think we liked the location of the house more than the house itself. We made the right choice between the houses, but the desire to live in that area has been on our minds a lot.

So, we were walking along when a man running along the canal looked at Greg, suddenly looked startled , and then yelled something I didn't understand. Greg yelled back. Then....in what seemed like slow motion.....they ran toward each other, jumped in the air and hugged. These two men had not seen each other in 30 yrs, but it felt like yesterday to them. The runner man then started hugging me, grabbed my face and said " Paizano?!". I could not stop laughing as he kept hugging each of us. I instantly fell in love with Greg's sweet friend ( who was like a big teddy bear).

They quickly caught up on some lost years and then he shared that he lived right where we were looking and so did another of Greg's old friends. He further convinced Greg to put that for sale sign up and move back "home". We'll see......

On Dentists and Thunderstorms

Today we met our new dentist. Yes, I'm not proud to admit it took us a year to find a dentist. Back in NJ, we were faithful 6 month visit people. Finding doctors here has been a chore. Thankfully, my boys enjoy going to the dentist. Today was no different. While I sat in the chair getting my teeth cleaned my boys hung out in the waiting room chatting with the equally chatty receptionist. The thing is.....my boys are usually timid or stand-offish with people they don't know. Today, they did not stop talking....the three of them discussed edamame, basketball, and a bunch of other topics. Other than my cavity, it was a very good dentist visit.

Today also brought a big rain storm. The thing about rainstorms.....they usually contain thunder. Ever since living in NJ and experiencing two hurricanes ( Sandy & Irene) Sam has a strong reaction to thunder. If the power goes out ( another reminder of the hurricanes) it's even more of a stressor. Since moving back to Roch, we've gotten used to Sam's thunder protocol. Usually, Sam will shut all the curtains and then sit on the couch - ears covered and faced buried in a pillow. That's just what happened today when a thunder filled power outage rain storm came upon us. This time, though, as Sam and I sat close together he also requested music.....Steely Dan's "Reelin' In the Years" to be exact.

As I sat there with him I couldn't help but smile. I know my boy will overcome this fear. I pray he will overcome it soon. But at that moment....Greg and Ross were sitting nearby reading books, Sam was buried in his pillow- ears tightly plugged, and Steely Dan was filling our room with music. It was sort of crazy, and funny....but totally perfect.

He next requested The Lumineers and then Building 429. I just love that boy.

I also love friends who text me during rainstorms because they know Sam so well. Texting just to see how he is doing and to tell me they are praying for him.  So sweet.

You Don't Know......

I'm not sure if it's the singing off key, the random lip movements when they don't know the words, or the passion and hand gestures when they do? Maybe it's Greg shaking his head and grinning ( as he usually does with me and my antics) that makes me smile. This home made video reminds me that seasons change. This was taped a short time ago, but these days I'm pretty sure my boys would not have participated as enthusiastically. Maybe a drum or electric guitar solo.....? ( and, oh, please ignore the twisted seat belt??)

Memory Lane

I have no clue why I have been blogging so much lately. Maybe because I'm not on Facebook?
Mostly because I look back at the last few years of blogging and I am so very glad that I have so many things documented.

Like this post. I had forgotten all about that.

 And this...that basement was perfect for dodge ball. So many changes within our family since that day.

Or, this....And for sure, this! NJ is always on our minds in one way or another. We were always a bit homesick while there, but really enjoyed our life there as well. I miss being in a new city with all its new areas to explore. I felt like we all learned so much in our 3 yrs there.

I came across an old blog post I wrote about one of my (and Greg's) oldest friends. Everyone needs a Carla in their life. She tells it like it is. Even if it feels like she's shaking you a bit while doing so.

Delicious Days

 

  They still overlap their legs, just like they did when they were babies. 

Over the years, the boys have developed a passion for cooking. I love that they are so interested in recipes. Give them a cookbook and they are happy to sit and read it, but they also like creating their own recipes.

 

Ross created "zucchini pizza". They were delicious.

 

Together they made/created.....Italian Surprise. I'm not entirely sure what

was in it, but it was good. 

 

Sam came up with the idea for a Chocolate Volcano. He baked 2 cakes, scooped out the inside of both, filled and layered with cherry pie filling, and then placed one cake on top of the other.

                                              It was delicious.

Some Stuff To Think About

I really like this blog post, so I'm posting a link to share....and also for me, so I can read again later (because sometimes it takes a while for things to sink in). The part near the end is really making me think. Actually, it's helping me second think some things.

(click good stuff)

Good stuff

Worth Smiling Over

*I love that moment when a good, deep conversation with someone turns into a good, loud laugh together.

*One of the perks of living near family again is having a mother in law who loves to cook. And loves to share.

*Knowing this snow will stop soon....even though it feels endless right now....because the first day of spring is just a few weeks away.

*chocolate from Aldis. Who knew?

*Deciding to wait for God's best instead of tolerating a not so great situation. Hard to do, but so worth it. Right??

*The boys asking to visit NJ just about every other day....knowing that they loved their life there. Realizing that a NJ trip also means stopping by IKEA.

* A stack of new books. So good.

On Home

( From earlier this week)....Home with a headache that won't go away....and sort of thankful for a reason not to have to drive through the snow and cold to drop the boys off to their regularly scheduled "thing". Lately, we've been on the go and out of the house every.single.day. You guys know that is not my cup o tea, at all. I'm a big advocate for not over scheduling. Anyway, being home all day today was heavenly. Hot meals were served, school work was completed, books were read, wii dance was performed, phone calls were answered, the boys were happy and not haggard from running here and there...and....and, what's my point?

Just thinking out loud. How do I keep our lives on a good flow, and avoid following the crowd of busy-ness? There are a lot of fun/ educational classes/ things we could be doing( and are doing), but should we be doing them? Some, maybe...others probably not.

I've noticed a new trend lately....people stepping away from outside commitments, Facebook, blogging, or whatever and stepping back into their lives. Being present. I love this movement....especially because the years we have our kids at home are short. Truly, it's a short season. I want to make it a good one.

Some of my favorite words, lately....

Authentic
Moving forward ( yeah, 2 words, but I like 'em)
Balanced

And my favorite lyrics this week....

The sun comes up it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing your song again
Whatever may come and whatever lies before us
May I be singing when the evening comes

Last day of September

Just a quick check in (for you sweet folks who requested one). Let me tell you, I would love to write in detail about all that has gone on since my last post....but, I fear I'm becoming a lot more wise private in my old age. Days of wearing my heart on my sleeve may be behind me. What's that saying- burned once shame on you, burned twice shame on me? Something like that. I wasn't really "burned", but couldn't think of a saying for what it was. Greg tells me I get my sayings mixed up. Just yesterday I told him about how someone (we know) runs to the beat of their own drum. I continued on with my profound statement(and respect & awe of this person), but he got stuck on the visual of a guy running to the beat of a drum. Makes perfect sense to me--drum beats + running. Running, walking? We are still debating which it should be. Anyway.....I feel like I've learned much these past few months.

My friend, Jess, just wrote (on her blog) what have been my thoughts for some time, but words I have not figured out how to put on paper. I love that. When you read someone's {a friend's} words {thoughts}and you think ...yes, yes I totally agree. Or, simply, wow, that is just what I have been thinking, going through. Truly, it's comforting, and empowering all in one.

I would love to go into detail about the dinner with Greg's old gal pal ( a dinner where we were meeting her new fiance) and upon first handshake with her beau I realized that I had "sorta dated and definitely kissed" him (back during college days). He either did not remember me, or pretended not to...not sure...but for various reasons, I had to keep this little fact to myself until Greg & I got in the car for our ride home(5 hrs later). I felt awkward sharing that tiny bit of ancient history at this special meeting and didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.  Of all the people....regardless, the evening was fun.

So, you are welcome. I just shared a sort of detailed event.

And here are some little facts....
~Our new favorite place is the zoo....especially on one of these beautiful fall days.
~The movie Babe (about Babe Ruth) has been watched a lot lately-brings me to weepy tears every time.
~I think Greg is addicted to Lowe's. He seems to find any excuse to go there, and most always comes home with some sort of garage organizing device.
~My 79 yr old mom was scammed by a concrete contractor. He took her $1800 and ran. She's feisty and wise, and is suing him.
~I'm addicted to full fat Greek yogurt drenched in maple syrup and covered with walnuts.

That's all I've got for now. But, I feel some more blogging coming on....especially because the boys just announced yesterday was the "best day ever".

Rhino Friday

 For as long as I can remember my dad has been a big fan of soccer. He's had season tickets to the Rhino's {and the Lancer's before them} forever. He also has a brick in the new stadium with his name on it. As he grew closer to his 80's my brother started taking him to all the games. This past Friday we decided to join the.

 There were no goals.....the last several minutes were very intense(Rhino's scored in the final minutes)

 

As the sun was setting the sky turned a beautiful red. 

                                 A beautiful end to a fun evening.

Grey

Or is it...gray? The grammar experts tell me it's either.

It was while shopping for towels that I first realized I have a new obsession with the color grey. We were long overdue for some new master bath towels so I decided to stop into my favorite Homegoods store. For several minutes, I stood in the grey towel section choosing a small variety of towels...excited to get them home. As I was walking away I realized....my bathroom is not grey. It's tan and blue!

I blame it on feeling overly tired, all the time lately. That moment in Homegoods is when I realized I have a grey obsession, and I also have an obvious mental block as to which colors are actually in my home. And so I walked around our house taking a true inventory of my grey obsession.....

 The same day I towel shopped I also completed a couple of quick projects. One was purchasing {grey}scrapbook paper and putting them in white frames(no clue where we will hang them).

 I used the same {grey} paper to cover the letters above. After I applied the letters to the wall I stood back and once again realized....our kitchen is mostly tan/beige.

 The tiles sort of look grey, but in person they are all beige or tan.

 

 Most of the accents I have around are grey....bags, containers, etc.

 That same shopping day I found these {grey}rolls of wrapping paper. I had the idea that I will line the back of our china hutch with the paper. Thankfully, we had just painted our dining room grey.

Does grey match tan? It wouldn't be my first choice of colors to combine, but it's growing on me. Maybe grey is the new white?

Neighbors

 Over the weekend.....

Sometimes something happens in the course of my day and I think.....what in the world was that? {In a good way}. I just had one of those experiences and I can't stop thinking about it.

 

(a nest of baby rabbits live in here)

The details of finding and purchasing our current house....actually, the details of Greg being offered his current job.....were somewhat bizarre. And when I say bizarre I mean when I look back the details make me squint my eyes a little and say "hmmmm" to myself. On the days that I start questioning why we moved back home, or if we made the right decision I'm usually able to let those thoughts quickly go because of how it all happened. In my mind, the Lord guided us on a path and timed things in a way that I can only point back to Him.

So, with that in mind.....on one side of our home we have some lovely empty nesters. They are clearly in love, act younger than their age, and are friendly. Because Greg travels I am thankful that we are surrounded by neighbors who seem to be around a lot. Remember how I shared that our neighbors gazebo was ripped to shreds? Well, when I saw their grandkids playing on our swingset I ran out to chat with them(her) about the storm. Before I knew it, we were chatting about all sorts of things and she invited me to come look at her home.

Our conversation probably only lasted about 10 minutes....and, by the way, if your neighbor asks you to come inside and look at her house be sure to tell your family where you are going. I sort of disappeared which caused Greg and the boys to get a bit worried. Nice to know I was missed.
So, our conversation.... in the short time we chatted my dear neighbor shared things about her life, and brought up other specific random things that made my jaw drop. Why? Because they were words of encouragement about things she wouldn't have a clue I was struggling with could relate to. I don't want to say struggling because that really doesn't define it. It's too heavy of a word. Maybe heavily pondering is a better description.

 The things she shared about her life sounded so similar to some things I have been experiencing...or have experienced, or have thought about. It was like a 10 minute hug and an it's going to be ok. Definitely something I don't want to forget. It felt so intentional...as if the Lord orchestrated the whole thing.

Wow.

Just, wow. Oh, and her husband has a passion for Harley's. Just like Greg. Umm, that could mean trouble, but I'm not too worried.

Whole Lotta

 This is a post that may seem like a whole lotta nothing, but to me it's something.....

 What I've been thinking about lately.... Things I have a hard time putting into words. Ha. So why am I mentioning it? Because it's been all consuming these past few weeks and I feel like God has been showing me many things. {Does that sound like Christianese?} Anyway....He is pushing me through some hard stuff. I say pushing because I have to believe that He literally is pushing me and moving me forward. I've not shared what's been going on with anybody (but Greg) because it's been hard. Woah Nellie. Plus, I'm determined to not let it weigh me down or weaken me. That's when I realized that things feel different...I feel different. It's one of those deep and raw things.So I've been thinking about deep and raw things. :)

 What I have NOT been thinking about lately.......School stuff. For the first time ever-we have not done any schoolin' over the summer. We've just been reading fun books. I have no desire to organize our school stuff, and I don't want to research, purchase, or look at curriculum. I'm tired. I love having the boys home with me, I like homeschooling. I used to love it. I'm sort of blah about it at this moment. I'm sure I will get my mojo back...maybe. What I have realized more than ever is that I want homeschooling to be how we school...but not necessarily how we are defined. I feel like I've maybe kept myself in a homeschool box for awhile.

 Do we miss NJ?.......Yes. We miss so much about NJ....our friends, summer rugby, the things the boys were able to experience, living 17 miles from NYC....Every few days, the boys ask if we can go back to visit. Maybe what I'm missing is the adventure. Being in a fresh, new city with all it's new places, spaces, and faces. Don't get me wrong, I love our hometown and being near family & friends. I have a feeling if we still lived in NJ, I would be feeling homesick to move home. In fact, I know I would be homesick. It's just one of those things. 

(there was a quick and crazy wind storm last evening. See our neighbors gazebo in the background?....it was ripped to shreds in 5 minutes. I felt so bad for them)

What have I been reading?.....Hold Onto Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld. Such.a.good.book. I originally read it years ago. I picked it up the other day and opened it up to just the right paragraph. I'm now going to start over with highlighter in hand.
What have I been eating?.....ice cream-all kinds. Bowl next to me right now. Potato chips dipped in Greek yogurt. Pizza dipped in Blue Cheese and hot sauce. Those are all my go to yummies when Greg and the boys take off for some boy time.
What am I listening to right now?.....the neighbor mowing the lawn, the clink of a baseball bat.
What fun thing did I find this week?...Ulta's grey eye shadow and purple nail polish. I'm a mix of tom boy and girly girl. 
What was my scripture of the week?....psalm 94:18-19
   "When I said, “My foot is slipping", your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."     

Tis True

 (when I saw this on pinterest it brought back memories of a specific situation that happened when we were new to living in Canandaigua)

From experience, I find this statement so true. One thing about moving often-you are put in many "first" situations over and over. You meet a lot of new people.  Thankfully, so very thankfully....with each move we've met some wonderful people whom we've become friends with.  Ever so often there is that first impression, maybe a second, that goes wrong. You maybe tried too hard...or in various ways just were not yourself. You leave hitting yourself on the forehead thinking "why did I say that?" or act that way, or  _________(insert your own faux pax). On the flip side, sometimes you didn't say or do anything wrong. Not everyone is going to click. Regardless.....

When you meet someone new....remember that everyone has a story. Give people more than one chance. Don't judge or make up your mind about someone too quickly. You may be missing out on a really great friend.

Old Photos & Memories

My mom has a scrap book from her childhood....I just love going through it and reading all the notes, looking at the pictures, and then having her tell us stories associated with it all.

This last visit, I pulled the album out and snatched a few of my favorites.

This is a photo of my mom and her aunt Ann. Apparently, when my mom was 16 Auntie Ann took her to a dude ranch for the week (mom's dad was not happy). They had a great time. I loved how my 78 yr old mom remembered it like it was yesterday. She shared stories of the different people within the photo.

This announcement from the "new" Waring theater described it as having the only "cycloramic screne" (the spelling)

 I guess my mom suffered from severe cramps, too. She said she missed many days of school either because she had cramps or had to stay home and clean the house (such different days back then).

 

I also learned that she worked at the telephone company just so she could save up tuition to attend the University of Rochester. She managed to save a years tuition, but couldn't afford to go back after that one year. I believe she married my dad soon afterward.

 We also found this picture of my father. He was a talented basketball player, and after college continued to play while working at the RG&E. What was neat about this picture is that his teammate sitting next to him turned out to be the father of Greg's childhood best friend. Small world.

My parents, though their bodies show signs of aging, are filled with so many stories and memories that are fresh in their hearts.